He’s five months new today. He’s wearing nine months clothing, trying oatmeal (avocado up next), giggling with his brother, and jumping in his bouncy car. He’s jumpy and sensitive, easy to laugh, and intently curious. It is a relief that five months have passed! Newborn stage is the hardest stage of all.
Some days are so difficult. I haven’t showered today (yet), the sink is full of dishes, laundry needs to be folded, and there are half packed boxes in the living room. I survey my surrounding and wonder how I let it all happen. Then one of the boys cries, or the dogs start wrestling and knock over something, and then I become amazed that I manage to take care of anything at all.
Despite the weather I adore (not cool, not hot, cloudless blue skies, light breezes), I’m quite discouraged today. When Mini Gwinn was five months, I had lost the baby weight and was working out regularly. With 2.0, I’m still carrying an extra ~15-20 and have been to the gym a grand total of nine times. It’s disheartening.
But worse is that we’ve been on the cusp of buying the most amazing home. Dream home, really. And the closer we get to our closing date, the less likely we are to buy the home, all because of a horribly, terribly off the numbers appraisal. With the heartache of growing so emotionally attached to such a wonderful home for our children, I can’t invest any more feeling into loving this house. If we hear good news I’ll be happy and surprised, but expecting the best now is setting myself up for a heart break.
For now I’m trying to focus my attention my precious kids and the beauty of the day.