Target Thinks I’m Pregnant

Have you seen this article from about Target’s analytic results, based upon one’s purchases, of a calculated score of the likelihood of her pregnancy? The anecdote featured in the article even details out a true story of a dad finding out his daughter was pregnant based upon the targeted advertising the mega- store does. It’s kind of crazy, right? For the record, I’m a die- hard Targetophile. I can tell you about their “May I Help You” initiative, their rules for lines not being over two guests per line, their design for end caps and retrofitting for new features of the store (I’ve been to the Target museum in its headquarters in Minneapolis, eaten lunch in the HQ cafeteria [it’s catered, folks!], and know the inside scoops on their big meetings that have Fergie and Faith Hill). The fact that the store gathers and analyzes this kind of data (and to this level of personal privacy invasion) should freak me out, especially since I hate the idea of “big brother” watching what I already do, but honestly, I think it’s kind of cool in a “that’s really, really crazy and creepy, but thanks for taking interest in me” kind of way.

Any way. So, Target thinks I’m pregnant. I’ve even gotten emails with VERY specific advertising, (no joke): for athletic second time moms, how to handle the second round with an active toddler”. So, not only does the big- box store know I’m athletic (well, that’s a loose term, but “desperately pursuing athleticism” doesn’t have as much of an appeal), but it knows the age of my child (which is fair, I did register for my baby showers there).

Joke’s on Target, I’m not pregnant.

I have been toeing the line on looking at maternity clothes (only if they’re at their cheapest clearance price), etc etc, but I haven’t taken the plunge for a 2.0. Captain Laser Pants is ready, and I’m more in the category of “HOLY CRAP JUST LET ME LOSE FIVE MORE POUNDS AND WEAR MY CLOTHES FOR A WHILE”. To his credit, he’s not forcing me to make him a baby this week or anything, but he is letting me know that this is the year for another kiddo. My reasoning behind not wanting another one is 100% selfish. The first pregnancy was so, SO bad (partial placenta previa, kidney stones, preeclampsia symptoms, bed rest, 55 FREAKING POUNDS gained, pinched pubic bone nerve) and honestly, I’m pretty fond of my abdominal muscles. It’s nice to feel pretty, especially now that Spring is here and I can wear my favorite clothes again, and the last thing I ever felt while pregnant was pretty/ attractive. To add to it all, mini Gwinn is SO MUCH FUN right now. I don’t want to miss a moment with him. He says things like “aceful” (graceful) and “fabuwous” (fabulous), and “Where’s Daddy?”, “You do this. I do this,” (when I’m reading to him), he gives kisses and leans in for them, and he’s just so darn funny. But CLP doesn’t want him to grow up alone. And, because my husband was an only child and he truly wants another baby, I feel like it’s my responsibility as his wife to give him his heart’s desire. He wants another baby more than I don’t want another one. And it’s not even the additional baby I don’t want. It’s the pregnancy. I will happily take a newborn home. I just don’t want to do the baking.

How have you moms of many dealt with the knowledge of a potentially impending baby? Please assist in talking me out of my selfishness.


About mombieconfessions

I am a sarcastic mom, tried and true INTJ, my DISC profile has a high D and C with low I and S, and I'm a quirky geek (love me some Star Wars, BSG, Firefly, Dr, Who and comic books!). When I grow up I want to be an Amazon warrior with super powers and an awesome costume. Music and literature are passions, cooking and baking are hobbies, and writing a blog (such as this one) is both a cathartic release and documentation of the growth of my family and myself. View all posts by mombieconfessions

8 responses to “Target Thinks I’m Pregnant

  • Bree Chamberlain

    Yup — You have been hit by the predictive analytics model wahahaha!
    You buy similar products to someone newly pregnant 🙂

  • Mary Sue

    I’m having some of the same issues with Target…and I do find it a bit creepy. But not nearly as annoying as the other couple dozen unsolicited emails that I get every day from listservs I don’t even remember signing up for…

    But I digress. Your question was about a second ankle-biter.

    My hubs was an only child and thinks he wants a son someday. We have a daughter. I was one of three, and just always figured I would have children. Plural. Never occured to me that I wouldn’t. After one pregnancy, it’s occured to me. I don’t think I want another one.

    My reasons are totally selfish. Babies are HARD to make, hard to birth, and hard to rear. Also, expensive. And I say that with having had a (relatively) easy pregnancy and a fairly calm, easy baby. I’m still having a really, really hard time. I know some people who would be great with the challenges of multiple kids. I’ve come to realize that unless something changes, I’m not one of those people. And as the one who has to actually bake the kid, I consider myself as having final say on the matter. We’ll see where we are in a few years, but for now, that’s where I stand.

    • mombieconfessions

      Whatever happens in your future, the family you have will be the family you are meant to have, whether or not that includes more children. In the mean time, enjoy your sweet baby, in the midst of the hard days. 😀

  • Mary Sue

    Having said all that, mini-G is so cute that I wonder what the world will do when you two double it up!

  • Southern Sea Muse

    With 4 underfoot, all I can say is “shut your eyes and jump.” The ensuing love and wonder seem to exponentiate whether you expect it or not. I highly recommend taking the plunge, whether or not Target gets any satisfaction out of it or not.

    • mombieconfessions

      It’s not the love I’m worried about, it’s the saggy stomach skin and weight gain (and the discomfort of pregnancy). But what everyone is saying, mostly, is the nine months of pregnancy and first three months of having a newborn end up being well worth the lifetime of having another baby. Thank you for the encouragement! I’m sure i’ll make the jump, just not sure when…

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