If Apple Made Free Weights

Is there an app for making iPhones really heavy at the gym to emulate lifting free weights? I’m not really tech savvy, especially when it comes to Apple products (ew), so I could be completely missing this nifty application. Are they called iWeights?

What’s that you say? This idea is preposterous?

That’s precisely my point. If you (the existential “you”, not YOU) are at the gym, walking on the treadmill at it’s slowest pace, yammering on your cell phone, what is being accomplished? Aside from taking up space on the cardio machine, just going to the gym isn’t really enough to jump start weight loss or healthy living. Example- I went to the gym on Thursday with every intention of staying for an hour to do a full body weight training circuit. As I dropped off mini Gwinn, I saw a large woman in small spandex situate herself on a leg lift machine while talking on her phone. “Whatever,” I thought, as I started up my warm up. About fifteen minutes later, after I had finished my warm up and tricep weights, I made my way back to the leg machines. The woman on her phone was still sitting on the leg lift machine. I worked around her, doing the calf raises and the other leg machines, until, finally, I could avoid it no longer. I glared at her. She was laughing, licking her leg against the resistance bar, literally doing nothing. Why take the effort to shove one’s self into spandex (which I suppose I could assume was a workout in itself), drive to the gym, only to talk on the phone? She was eating into my workout time and was accomplishing nothing simultaneously. Once she finally noticed me staring ninja death stars at her, she looked irritated that I wanted to use her chair. She finally got up and I was able to continue.

Run with this, tubby!

Let me clarify. I don’t “hate” “fat” people. Her complete lack of consideration and her all encompassing laziness are why I’m still mad about this today. “How do you know she wasn’t injured?” Please, if you’re politically correct, your feelings are hurt easily, or you make excuses all the time, please stop reading my blog for forever. I know she wasn’t injured because she was having an animated conversation on her phone. If someone is trying to work through something or work on something at the gym, they are not there to have a thirty minute phone conversation. If you have to walk on the slowest pace possible on the treadmill because that’s where you are physically, I am cheering for you in my heart and head for trying. I think it is freaking awesome that you are taking those steps to improve your health! If you’re walking on the slowest possible pace on the treadmill because you’re not coordinated enough to talk and walk, then I hope you fall off so someone who wants to use the treadmill productively can get on it. Is this harsh? Maybe. Am I right? Yes.

Look deeper into this “laziness at the gym” issue. Our society and technological age highly encourage us all to engage in multiple conversations at once, take in several types of media simultaneously, and divide our attention completely. When was the last time you looked at your phone? Facebook? Email account? It is now considered the social norm if people have their cell phones out at group gatherings or dinner. People text and drive while their children are screaming in the back seat. Parents look at pictures of their children while their children are sitting in front of them. Text message conversations to seven different people carry on through the day.

When was the last time your attention was completely focused on one thing?

My sister told me a story of a time (this was years ago) that she and her husband met a monk (I don’t remember where) and what he had to say was brief and wise- Whatever you’re doing, do it fully. If you’re driving, drive (dear God, drive with your full attention. Please). If you’re with your children, be with your children. If you’re eating, eat the meal fully and enjoy how it tastes, how it fills you. Be there. I don’t want my baby to remember me with a phone in my hand, and I don’t want to miss all the amazing things he does because Facebook has some crappy update I just “have to see”. Seeing the woman at the gym was a great reminder for me to “be there”, wherever “there” is.

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About mombieconfessions

I am a sarcastic mom, tried and true INTJ, my DISC profile has a high D and C with low I and S, and I'm a quirky geek (love me some Star Wars, BSG, Firefly, Dr, Who and comic books!). When I grow up I want to be an Amazon warrior with super powers and an awesome costume. Music and literature are passions, cooking and baking are hobbies, and writing a blog (such as this one) is both a cathartic release and documentation of the growth of my family and myself. View all posts by mombieconfessions

6 responses to “If Apple Made Free Weights

  • Gmama

    People on the phone at the gym PERIOD irritate me. When I’m on the elliptical, huffing & puffing (just to “sorta” look like you young buff folks) and kids think their lives are so important that I, the old fart, need to see and hear their importance and hear their ridiculous giggles and laughter …… well, I’m simply flabbergasted at their rudeness. Those are the folks who “want” you to look at them and frankly I would rather poke my eyes out! I find that usually the heavy girls are quiet and are there to try and look like the majority. I know that Keith (my trainer) would’ve had that chic off of that machine quickly – too bad we didn’t have the chance:)! Who knows,if she’s a regular, you can slyly ask her if she would like you to show her a good method to use on that machine. Sometimes you have to be qucker than the less than average bear

    • mombieconfessions

      I should clarify that it isn’t obesity at the gym that bothers me- it is laziness. If the woman had been a beanpole taking up space on the weight machine, I would have been just as irritated. Halfheartedness, no matter where or how it presents, is one of my pet peeves.

  • Saint Stay At Home

    Where is your compassion? She probably had 911 on the phone.
    Who else was going to get that spandex off?

  • Saint Stay At Home

    This post is GREAT. One-mean-wrinkled-metaphorical-scowl.

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