Maintenance of Marriage

Ok, I have to share this incredibly clever analogy I came up with Friday. Prepare to be amazed.

If you have a basement in your home that you never see, you never clean, and it never sees sunshine, it’s probably going to be a moldy, gross place you don’t want to hang out in. It would be the room you store old clothes and crap from your childhood your parents gave you so they could have more space in your old bedroom they converted into a fish tank room. But, if you clean it regularly, open the windows, and make use of it every day, it’s going to be a much more pleasant place to spend time, right? You won’t store your old luggage in it; you would probably put some comfy furniture in it and a ping pong table (or Pac Man arcade game), maybe a mini- fridge if you’re feeling crazy. Marriage is the same way (feel free to reread that, I know your mind has been blown, reader).

Ok, it’s cheesy. But it’s true. We can’t ignore our partner, ignore the health of our marriage, and expect it to be wonderful. By that same token, if we don’t visit it every day, it gets stale, or moldy, if you will. Without regular maintenance and attention, cobwebs develop, our baggage starts to smell funky, and it’s not a comfortable place to be.

Wait, am I talking about the basement or the marriage?

Let’s rewind. Do you remember when you first started dating your spouse? You called one another all the time, you couldn’t wait to see each other- they consumed your thoughts. You worked to see them smile. You invested in your personal hygiene and your appearance (this one made me laugh- I forget deodorant all the time). Now, after being married, maybe you only talk when you’re home from work. You forget to brush your teeth, you wear your husband’s sweat pants (I totally do these things), you drink milk from the carton in front of them. You’re comfortable. And being comfortable with your spouse is monumentally important. But if you’re stagnant, that’s where the funk (not the good kind) starts to grow.

I’m thinking about writing a series of blogs on the maintenance of marriage. It’s really important (for me and for all of us, right?) to explore the areas of marriage that make it great- those same areas can be easily forgotten. Over the next few days I’ll write more, share some websites that are significantly more poignant than I am, and hope to shed light on what makes marriage so freaking awesome. Would you read this series? What would you want to see?

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I hope you all have a beautiful Sunday!

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About mombieconfessions

I am a sarcastic mom, tried and true INTJ, my DISC profile has a high D and C with low I and S, and I'm a quirky geek (love me some Star Wars, BSG, Firefly, Dr, Who and comic books!). When I grow up I want to be an Amazon warrior with super powers and an awesome costume. Music and literature are passions, cooking and baking are hobbies, and writing a blog (such as this one) is both a cathartic release and documentation of the growth of my family and myself. View all posts by mombieconfessions

5 responses to “Maintenance of Marriage

  • averagechildhood

    I agree. If you could discuss how to try to quit feeling fat, frumpy in order to not feel ridiculous seducing one’s husband, that might be helpful!

  • dkingneece

    I’m definitely interested in reading your series! I’ve been laying the groundwork now for making sure we stay in tune with each other, seeing as how I know things are going to seriously change in 3 months. I would love to hear your input.

    • mombieconfessions

      Relationships are so much more work after a baby, but if you put in the effort, they also grow to be so much better. Thank you for reading! I recommend the book “Baby Makes Three” by Dr. John Gottman. We read it before our little guy was born and it made all the difference going into the big change with the same frame of mind. I wish you and your family all the best!!

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